Sunday, January 3, 2010

Death of my friend, lesson learned

This past week, my dearest friend died. She and I had been friends since we were 14 at Pine Village High School. She and her husband were with my first husband and I when we went to the Justice of the Peace to get married (they had those in 1971). Our husbands were best friends, our children -- three each-- were born around the same time and are very good friends. For a time, she was the supervisor of my oldest daughter at the little rural hospital in our county. She loved my kids and I loved hers. After my first husband left, she was my salvation. I would talk and talk and talk her ear off trying to figure out what happened and she never avoided me, never acted as if she was very tired of hearing it. After I married my present husband, we all got caught up in all those things that we think are important. She got sick about 3 years ago with cancer. I saw her now and then, but not nearly as much as I should have. She and my middle daughter played golf sometimes. Time passed and I knew that she had went into remission, but I still didn't see her much. The remission passed and last June, our high school class had our 40th reunion and Wanda and I sat there together and talked and talked and laughed until we cried. We had such a great class and it was so much fun sitting with all of them who came (at least half!) talking about how we were 40 years ago. We all knew that it was the last reunion that Wanda would attend. I promised to visit within the next month, but again stupid, inconsequential things got in the way and I didn't visit. Last week, just 3 days before I was going over to her house to visit, she died. She told her family that she would no longer take her medicines and all knew that it would be just a matter of a few days. I will never again get the chance to sit and talk with her, laugh with her, pick grapes and sweet corn with her, make noodles with her, laugh at the shenanigans of our kids, play poker with her, argue with her. I didn't know it 44 years ago when I met her that one of the reasons she may have been put on this earth was to teach me a lesson. Never put off spending time with those you love. Nothing is more important. The chance will not come again.